Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who's looking back at me?
I don't recognize her at all......
When I look in the mirror or just a glimpse of my reflection I see nothing but failure.
I want to be better, I always try and seems I can never get it just right.
The demands I put on myself in everything is sometimes overwhelming and now my weight is out of control. Why can't everything be perfect? I used to be pretty close to perfect. Now, I've let it go. I've become someone else. I've become who I never thought I would be. I pitied the fat girls. I used to say things to myself like " Why can't you just run or say no to this or that" Karma's a bitch and add a side of life and you have one helluva dose of reality.
I was so sexy, I oozed it women sensed it and I knew it when I walked anywhere. I was desired. Today I am a shell of that woman hanging on with everything I have to find her again. What happened? I don't know. Parts of me gave up on upholding that image after I found my soulmate. My husband. I thought it would be better, no more rat race on the treadmill. I was loved, unconditionally! We were what movies are done about and books were written about. Fast forward 13 years and i'm miserable. I think my husband secretly likes me fat it makes him feel secure with his own issues. I think he's a feeder. What am I going to do? I need control and help. I need me again. I miss me.
